Last Weekend I...

Disappointed myself. Hated myself. Cried. Ate literal shit for two meals in a row. Annnnd the list continues..

So I had my feis this weekend. Surprise surprise, I sucked major asshole. I guess I may as well get to that later.

Enough with the melodrama.

The weekend itself hadn't been that bad; took the ferry over (it was just my mother and I) and visited with my cousins and Aunt and Uncle. It was nice, I rarely see them. They're my grandma's favorites, however, and I'll always be a little jealous by that fact..
After visiting, me and mom began our journey to this horrible grey city. Waited for a bus, rode the bus, got off and waited for a skytrain, took the skytrain. Got off, and couldn't find our bus stop. Found the bus stop. Waited for ages. I might as well mention it was FUCKING FREEZING the whole time, and we had a suitcase, a bag full of food, and my dance dress-- which made the whole experience that much more awesome! I was wearing leggings, my little oxford shoes, and one jacket, which I'll admit was a very bad clothing choice. Finally when bus arrived, and to my surprise it was a mini shuttle bus.. Probably only 20 seats in it, and there was a line up of around 30 to 40 people. Luckily for us, my mom and I just made it on, and out of the cold. Once we got off at our stop, we walked for about 5 minuets that had felt like it lasted an hour, and arrived at our inn.

Although being cold and tired hadn't been a welcome prospect, mom and I were happy and chatty... Nicety's were exchanged, something I hadn't been used to especially for this past while, but the lovingness and all that jazz between me and mom made me happy. Still do, since it hasn't ended yet. I love it when she's like this; funny, and caring,and supportive.. but unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised if I wrote a hate-driven post about her soon enough.

That night, we were hungry and didn't feel like waiting for food if we ordered in, or walking a block to all the good restaurants. Instead, we ran across the busy highway in front of our inn to the ABC Country Restaurant that was on the other side of the road.. I have five words for you:
Salt curds, and chicken shit.

Sums up the dinnah!

Then the next day was the feis. Arrived at the place it was being held at, at 8 o'clock, all primmed up with my make-up done etc., which I had never bothered with before. Practiced for half an hour-ish, and felt pretty confident with my dances, however quite nervous. The competition started, and my first dance was decent.. I ended up getting ranked 5th in that dance. The judge rarely looked at me though, but that was nothing compared to what happened in my next dance. This dance was going great-- it's my best dance and I love it the most. But half way through, I fall. On my ass. I get back up, and finish my dance.
Annd that sucked ass.
Then my next two dances, which weren't that great.. I was off-timing and I couldn't concentrate on certain parts.After that was one more dance before I had a break. This dance was better; I actually was much more relaxed.. I think that was mainly because the judge was looking at every single dancer with a "What the fuck are you doing here?" look on her face. It made me giggle to myself as I waited in line, and I ended up getting placed 3rd in that dance. I did not place in the rest of my dances.

After my break (the duration of which consisted of me trying not to cry/telling myself I still had a chance of moving up), I had my first trophy dance at that feis. This one, too, was going extreamly well. And in this one, too, I tripped. Luckily, I caught myself before I fell, but there was no chance for me to finish my dance.. I was generally depressed by this time. Then my last trophy dance. I did fine, but I didn't even bother staying for the results. Mom's coworker picked us up, and we drove back together to the ferry.

After this, I had a generally good time; talking about photography, eating in the ferry buffet, checking out mom's coworkers boat once we got back. His name is George, by the way. I had my long cry when I got home annnnd thats that!

I've already told Cream about my knee problems so I don't wanna bother with writing every detail bout them on here.. But the just of it is, I did something to fuck my knees up, kept practicing hard anyways, and injured myself. I just saw the doc today, and she's pretty sure I have two problems: Firstly, something called Pes Ancarinis, which means that I've irritated three tendons (on both knees), just on the lower inside of my kneecaps, most likely from overuse. Secondly, Patellofemeral which according to Doc many girls around my age acquire, which hurts my knees when I walk down stairs, for example. If need be, I can get physio, but I'm hoping it doesn't get to that point. All in all, nothing too serious, but I do have to take a couple weeks off from dance!

Anywho, I slept on my arm funny, its bugging me, so I'll stop typing now.

Cheers!

Nothing New

So, new boyfriend for Cream! Can't wait to hear alllll about him, and I have quite a bit to talk about myself, so..Cream, we must set up a date soon. Which won't be possible if you just stop texting me. Just saying.

Schools been decent, not too boring-- actually a lot better then last semester. I have Science, English, Computer Programming 11 (yeupp, I actually do), and Planning. Programming is hard, I took it last year and I did good, but this stuffs way harder.. Doesn't help that I had the last class over a year ago, I don't remember jack.
Science is pretty interesting so far, although I've just run into one section that is tough for me to grasp.. None the less, I'm considering making Science a bigger part of my high school life... Something I had never considered before, which makes the prospect slightly interesting. But I still have no clue what I want to pursue after high school... University, yes. But no ideas yet on what career I think would make me happy.
English is interesting as well, my teacher is quite.. An odd one, he's constantly moving around and swinging around a mini wooden mallet. His vocabulary is vast and he hates it when other people try to finish his sentences for him. So far we've been reading short stories, discussing how we perceive them, writing vocabulary quizzes, and a few other assignments. I love English more then any other class, but hopefully it'll become more exciting soon.

I'm going to stop going to piano lessons once school ends, so my teacher and I decided that I should work on one song I'm interested in till then. I've chosen Fur Elise, hopefully I won't get annoyed by its repetitiveness.
I have a dance competition on the weekend of the 25th and 26th, so I'm practicing hard for that. Don't know if I've mentioned that I dance on this blog, but yup I've been an Irish dancer since I was 6, and I've been with this dance group since I was 7. At this feis (Irish dance competition), I'm aiming to win in all my solo dances. If I win the trophy dance for one certain dance called the Treble Jig, I'll move up to a whole new category.
There's two different categories; one goes like this.
You start with Beginner,
then there's Advanced Beginner,
followed by Novice,
then Prizewinner is the highest. I've been in Prizewinner for a couple years now, and I never tried to move up until the last feis I went to.
The next category is pretty much a whole new world.. Not trying to sound corny, but it's true. You gotta be prepared to go to this new area, which I think I am. So that should mean that I win a lot of my other dances as well, not just this one trophy dance, because I want to prove to myself and my coach that I'm ready.

Wow I sound like an idiot.
Anywho, the next category consists of Open, Preliminary, and Championships. I'm not sure what order they go in, but I'll ask. So yeah. That's my goal.

Nothing exceedingly exciting going on with me, as per usual.

Me and Gray just keep getting better, it feels like we're never gonna end. *knock on wood*
I'm getting closer with his friends too, which I really like. One of his friends, whom I shall call CeeCee (idea comes from my little sister, who calls him that) has come to me for advice, which was very flattering! I sat with him last semester during Math, and we talked a lot then too, so yeah it's nice to finally be comfortable around Gray's friends.

Anywaysss thats all. Hope you tune in another time to the exciting life of Sophia!! Yay!

You don't always have to hold your head higher than your Heart

Hey Cream? Sweetheart, I love you.

Remember that. Constantly.

Anyways, a quote from Betrayals that I think is rather applicable at this point and time:

"Calm down. Two of the most useless words in the English language."


Agreed? Agreed.


Another quote, this one by Jack Johnson. The title of this post, actually.


"You don't always have to hold your head higher than your heart."


I hope these two quotes suffice as what is my message to you. Xoxo