Wisdom

Am I PMSing or am I just a bitch? I think the latter.

I think awful things, and am incredibly selfish. I want other people to constantly be aware if I am feeling sad or whatever. I want them to feel the way I do.

I dunno.

Maybe I’m just PMSing.

But I always get down, ya know? Like lonely, and really my behavior is ungrateful. I am ungrateful...I always tell myself that. It doesn’t make me feel any better. Because in my mind, my  feelings are justified. Even writing this now I feel that.. yeah nevermind,

I wish I could just become wise and stuff already, become patient and kind and worldly. That ain’t happening for awhile.

So sometimes I really hate myself. Because of my feelings and my faults-- Jesus, this is way too dramatic for my tastes. But it truly feels like I’m at war with myself sometimes.

Sorry for not writing for awhile!