Tears to Drown In

I look at my News Feed on Facebook, and I can't help but feel ashamed. My generation is so fucking spoiled and self-absorbed. Here's a couple posts people have made today:


These are kellys nails she does normal tips, prints and everything!

(A post on some chicks nails, followed by a gaudy picture that resembles a human hand with dragon claws.)

Tbh from Mina and me, want one? Like it up bitch.

tig ol bitties in MY face. motor boattttttttttttttt all night

Wild saturday night. Sitting on my bed on tumblr. THUG LIFE

Yup.

Right now I am remembering a year ago today. I was on a flight to Tokyo, an hour from landing. I was in a shitty ass mood; exhausted, everything smelled like barf, head-pounding, with my ears plugged. An announcement came on... It was the Captain, letting us know that a major earthquake had just went down in Tokyo. He sounded shaken. Well no shit he did.

I regret being so...self centered. Even so, who wouldn't be, honestly?

When I saw the devastation, it felt like I was bulldozed in the heart. I didn't see it in person, I saw it on television -- I was far from the physical damage. I didn't need to see it in person. What I saw on the screen was more than enough...More than enough pain, suffering, and loss than anyone should experience in a life time.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. There's so much that I'm feeling right now, I just can't put it into words. I want to cry, but I feel like I don't deserve to be all weepy about this. The whole month I stayed in Japan afterwards, I was completely...ungrateful. Well, never ungrateful, but I sure as hell never acted grateful.

Does this make sense at all?

At dinner today... My dad, this gruff, angry man, started to cry. I've only ever seen him cry once in my life before that. He's not the 'sensitive' type; he's not openly affectionate most of the time and he has an incredibly short temper and is constantly swearing.

To see him cry was-

He told us about that day, how he found out about the disasters. On March 11th, while I was on my flight, he was watching a hockey game. When it finished, it was late, so he went to bed. He said he remembered the phone ringing that night, but he ignored it since he was falling asleep. The next morning he listened to a message from my nana, apparently she was crying.. I didn't know she cried..

He said he was so afraid. So afraid.

"You instantly imagine the worst, ya know?"

He kept apologizing for crying.

Anyways, to conclude this I want to say that I am forever grateful for my life, and my loved ones. Im grateful for my home and for all the lessons Ive been taught throughout my life.
Japan, my heart is with you.

Japan, I love you.